It is so easy to get into the mindset that "I need to be a better christian." I am not talking about true Christianity... being a follower of Christ, but the senseless religion it often can become. The lists of things we need to do or not to do. The mindset i need to love people more, not get angry at people, not murder and give 10% to the church. These things are all good to do but i am convinced that there is no way that i can do anything good, so why try right? Left to myself, i am a rotten sinful being. I would not and could have not chosen to Love Christ. I hated Him. It was a wonderful work of his hand that i was saved... not by anything i did. I wanted to opposite of salvation, but God knowing my needs not my wants saved me!
And this leads me to everyday life. How do you day in and day out live like your saved?
John 21:15-17
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you [f]love Me more than these?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I [g]love You.” He *said to him, “Tend My lambs.” 16 He *said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you [h]love Me?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I [i]love You.” He *said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” 17 He *said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you [j]love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you [k]love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I [l]love You.” Jesus *said to him, “Tend My sheep.
By loving Jesus! then we can "feed the sheep." We can only go not sin, and love people if we first love Christ.
I was humbled last night about trusting in my own abilities. I went to be upset. I had failed, and was throwing myself a pity party that i didn't want to leave. I went to bed in this mood, in a state i have been in so many times. I dont want to be like this, angry and sad, but there is nothing i can do to get out of it. There is nothing within me that can change these bad thought into good thoughts.
Romans 7:14-20
14 For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold [m]into bondage to sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16 But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
I know how you feel Paul!!! But the story does not end there... because if i am truly a child of God, he would not let me turn my back to Him forever!
So while i was sleeping i had a dream. An odd dream. I was in South America in a orphanage singing songs with the kids when soldiers ran in with guns a blazing. They shot all the kids balls and instruments, then left. Then this dream repeated. But the second time when the soldiers were in there we started to share the love of Christ with them. They stayed a while and i was talking to some of them about the difference between Gods wrath and His love. this is where it ended. I woke up excited that i was able to share Christ with the iminganry soldiers, not upset like when i went to sleep!!
This showed me something. That we can not "do better." We cannot live good enough on our own. All of our good is truly just because Jesus is working through us. So when im upset or angry or sad there is noting i can do to fix that. NOTHING!!! yes, nothing. All i can do is humbly fall to Jesus feet and admit "i cant do it, Help me Lord!"
James 1:17-18
17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or [r]shifting shadow. 18 In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be [s]a kind of first fruits [t]among His creatures.
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