While reading ps 104 i couldn't help but meditate on the grandeur of God.

"Covering Yourself with light as with a cloak,
Stretching out heaven like a tent curtain. 

 He lays the beams of His upper chambers in the waters;

He makes the clouds His chariot;

He walks upon the wings of the wind; 

He makes the winds His messengers,

Flaming fire His ministers."

ps 104:2-4 

Our God has far more power than we could ever imagine.  The thing that struck me was not his might and power but his gentleness.  God is powerful.  He created everything, he has done great works of might and power in history, but he is heard in a soft breeze...

 So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” ¹⁴ Then he said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.” 1 kings 19:11-14

The Gospel

From the aspect of knowledge and understanding i am no expert in the gospel, in the same way a unschooled farmer is not an expert in botany.  It is still funny though how someone with 2 Phd's on the subject could spend a lifetime and never know as much about plants as that farmer.  The farmers knowledge, in this case, comes from living a life reliant on knowing his plants.  Although i have never had formal teaching on the Gospel and the list of what i don't know is much longer than the list of what i do know, in the words of John Newton "i know 2 things, i am a great sinner, and Christ is a great savior."  No i say all this to get to the point we must all know the gospel.  not in a sense of having all the right answers but getting our life from it in the same way the farmer does. 

So here we go....

In the beginning God.... We must start here.  In solving a problem you always start with assumptions,  like throwing a football you assume gravity will bring it back to the ground so you can worry about trajectory to get it where you want it.  But why can we assume the gravity will be there?  Because there has never been a point to prove it wont provide the 32.2 ft/s^2.  In the same way God has never been proven unfaithful and non-existent. This is why we must start with the Gospel here.  Rather you believe in God or not, he exist in a glorious loving sovereign matter.  Back to the gravity analogy.  If you fall off a building, rather you believe gravity is true or not, you will still hit the ground. 

Secondly, once on the foundation God exists, in order to be God he must contain certain attributes.  He must be sovereign.  He must be all knowing.  He must be all powerful.  He must be ever ware.  Therefore he created this earth, for his own glory.  The crown of that creation however is humans.  We are created in God image, wonderfully and fearfully made!  Each of us is a unique, beautiful creation...whether we are in a state of bearing Gods image or not.  This is why Jesus spent so much time with the prostitutes, crippled and tax collectors.  He saw them as created in Gods(His) image.

Soon after creation mankind fell into sin by disobeying the one thing God commanded them not to do.  And with this sin and death entered the world.  This was not just a bad thing or a slap on the wrist for humanity, but an act of outright hatred and contempt to a Holy, Perfect Creator.  God knows all though, and knowing we would choose our pride, knowledge, selfishness and idols over Him, He used our chose to give Himself the most glory possible.

The logical question then is how could God get the glory due His name by creating a creation he knew would fall into sin?  The answer to that is Jesus Christ!  Jesus came to live the life that we could not (perfectly submitted to God the Father's will in everything), in order to die the death we deserved due to our hatred to the Holy, Just God.  In doing this not just Gods justice and sovereignty are seen, but His grace, mercy and love are.

And this is the glorious news of the gospel.  God created for His glory; man rejected for their own glory; and then God saves and restores all of creation unto Himself for His glory!  And what do we need to do to obtain this great salvation?  Repent and believe.  Which is only possible by Gods grace in opening your eyes to your NEED of Him!





 

My Testimony

A testimony is an interesting thing to think about.  It is a personal story about the writer, but in a way it is not about the writer one bit.  Its much bigger than the story of a person; the story of the God, His creation, His glory and our eternal dependence upon Him! So here we go...

I Daniel Bernard Cartwright am not my own, but I have been bought with a price.  Being born into a christian family with loving parents was a huge grace given to me by God.  However, being born to christian parents, and attending church with them does not save you.  I attended church and did my best to be a good kid and by most peoples standards i was.  But on the inside i was as lost as could be.  I did not Love the Lord my God.  I simply behaved because in doing so i got the freedom and things i wanted from my parents.  I had the attitude i would use God to make my life better for eternity.  We must remember that our God is sovereign, and this time of rebellion and hatred toward Him was in His perfect plan.  I did learn parts of the bible, simple doctrine and memorized parts of the bible through the church AWANA program.  All part of God's training me and drawing me to Himself!

Once at MTU i finally had the uninhibited freedom i always wanted, and how did i use it?  The same way i had in high school; acting like a christian by working my way to heaven.  At this point i was involved in Cru and was asked by a friend if i wanted him to disciple me.  I said yes because it was another good thing that would put me in the good graces of God.  But through this God opened my eyes to His glory.  I knew from a young age that God sent His son Jesus into this world to die for the world, and i had even "asked Jesus into my heart."  There were many things that i was unaware of though.  I never realized Jesus died for ME... and that MY sins alone were enough for Him to need to die.  I learned that i could do nothing to merit His grace, but it was a free gift from God.  I also learned that without the supernatural rebirth it is impossible to understand who Jesus was, what He did on the cross, why He rose, and what this means for His bride (the church).  I also learned that saying a prayer does not save you but Jesus taking God's wrath opun Himself on the cross does!

So, from a young age God drew me and had grace upon me, and as i grew older He opened my eyes to His glorious salvation for me.  And if that doesent make Him gracious enough he then sent His spirit to live in me that i may fight the fight that would be impossible with out His presence in my daily life.  And if that wasent enough grace, someday soon He will return and bring His bride unto Himself that He might show me the surpassing riches of His grace!!!!

Now being a christian does not make me perfect.  If it does then Jesus blood was no needed.  But on this earth i strive to glorify Him and run from the sin that so easily entangles me.  But the sufferings and shortcomings are as Paul says are light and momentary compared to the eternal weight in glory that awaits Christ's bride!

Bought with a Price

While reading and meditating on Ephesians 5, i couldn't help but notice the quote from Isaiah which comes right after how when Christ shines on our lives all or sin is exposed.  It says:

Awake sleeper,

And arise from the dead,

And Christ will shine on you.

Eph 5:14

This stood out to me.  Our sin and shame is our glory and our boast pre-conversion.  This is evident in our media and entertainment.  Adultery, drunkenness and laziness make a great movie.  Paul calls this "lovers of lawleness."  Everything becomes visible in light and this is why we need to expose our sin.  But verses 12-13 on Ephesians 5 seem to be talking about our need to expose our sin.  But then it says "Christ will shine on you."  Therefore in verse I believe when it says "exposed by the Light" i believe it is talking about Christ purifying us and bringing our sin to the surface, not anything in us could bring it out.  After all Jesus did say "I am the way, the truth and the Light!"  

My point, our sin does not, can not or will not disgust us to the point we want to expose it without our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ alive in us and the Holy spirit working through us!   So if our sin, that is my sin, brings me to my knees crying out "oh wrenched sinner am i" than I should be thankful, for Christ is purifying me!  There is no fear or shame for those in Christ (romans 8).

Another meditation that came forth from this Ephesians quote was found in Isaiah 52.  Now the quote is from Isaiah 60, but 52 has a similar ring to it, rejoicing in the great city of the Lord.  Both start with a call for the people of the Lord to awake, for the Lord will be with them!  In 52:3 though a very interesting verse is found though:

For thus says the Lord "you were sold for nothing,

and you will be redeemed without money"

This was said to the Israelite's for they went into to captivity in Egypt for no cost, and the Lord brought them out with out money.  I do believe this is a glorious picture of the Gospel though.  "We were dead in our transgresses and sin" ...... "BUT GOD, rich in mercy..."  We went into sin willingly and even desired it.  That was our state.  We were captive to our desires which were not for the Creator, but the fallen creation.  And this is the Glory of the gospel, we were "redeemed without money."  Notice it does not say we were redeemed in the same manor we fell into captivity (by nothing).  Because there was a great cost to our redemption, and that was the sacrifice of the perfect Lamb, Jesus Christ.  We were not bought for nothing, or with money but with blood and love.  As said in 1 Corinthians 7, "we were bought with a price."

Were you called while a slave? ^[l]Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather ^[m]do that. ²² For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. ²³ You were bought with a price

1 Cor. 7:21-23

And this was the "price":

He was oppressed and He was afflicted,

Yet He did not open His mouth;

Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,

And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,

So He did not open His mouth.

Isaiah 53:7

And again in Hebrews:

Therefore Jesus also, that He might sanctify the people 

through HIS OWN BLOOD, Suffered outside the gate.

Hebrews 13:12

And here is how these two marvelous passages tie together:

 Therefore ^[j]be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, ^16 [k]making the most of your time, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. ¹⁸ And do not get drunk with wine, ^[l]for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,¹⁹ speaking to ^[m]one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; ²⁰ always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to ^[n]God, even the Father; ^21 [o]and be subject to one another in the ^[p]fear of Christ.

Ephesians 5:15-21

Since we were bought with a price, and since we have no condemnation  and since the lord is alive and active, and since He sent the holy spirit to us; we can walk as wise men knowing Gods will for us, our sanctification (1 thess. 4:3)!!  

Psalm 107 Meditation

Life can be frustrating.  In saying "life can be frustrating" i mean living in a fallen sinful world is frustrating.  Yes seeing all the calamity around is disturbing but the most disturbing part of this world lies with in my own heart.  I sin.  I am a sinner not because i sin, but i sin because i was born a sinner; as are we all.  According to Psalm 51:5

"Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me."

It was encouraging reading Psalm 107 today though.  Our God is an everlasting God.  He is unchanging.  So the God of the old testament is the same as in the new testament and is the same now!  In modern times we have a affinity to run to Gods love, which he is a loving God, but he is also just.  In reading though the old testament it is easy to see how God favors his chosen people, the Israelite's, and shows his wrath to the others. It constatly says "they were wicked in the Lords sight, so he bloted them out." But when dealing with his chosen people, he was nurturing, forgiving and full of mercy; even when they deserved His wrath.  Psalm 107 is full of this.  Gods people being wretched, and Him lovingly drawing them back.

Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
    prisoners suffering in iron chains,
¹¹ because they rebelled against God’s commands
    and despised the plans of the Most High.
¹² So he subjected them to bitter labor;
    they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
¹³ Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
¹⁴ He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
    and broke away their chains.
¹⁵ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
¹⁶ for he breaks down gates of bronze
    and cuts through bars of iron.

psalm 107:10-16

This is just one example of this in the chapter.  They rebelled from the Lord so he sent hard labor to bring them back unto Himself.   This is just encouraging because often i rebel from the Lord almighty.  I am wicked in His sight.  But He continually sends things my way to draw me back into worship of Him.  This is a constant reminder of our desperate need for the Lord, and his love and tenderness in caring for us!!

A broken and contrite heart

Often the old testament can get boring and the gung-ho start to reading the whole bible though becomes a mundane task that has little joy.  I generally end up at that point after a few chapters in Leviticus.  However, this time while listing to the audio bible all the laws and sacrifices fascinated me.  And then this weekend i turned to Malachi and in chapter 1 the Lord is angry with the people because they have defiled his name by "presenting defiled food upon My altar." (vs7)  The Lord of Host explains what they have done in vs 8:

"But when you present the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? And when you present the lame and sick, is it not evil?"

So going back to Leviticus and the law, the Lord has required our best.  He wants a 1 year old lamb with out blemish or spot.  Nothing else will do.  So giving Him the sheep that is no use to you because its blind or lame defiles the Lords name!  Later in the book in chapter 2 the Lord of Hosts says:

“This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand."

So not only did they defile the Lords name but they cried to Him when He removed His blessing from them. Notice all the capitol H's.  The Lord does not need us, and we surly don't deserve a blessing.  But while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!  But this does not give us a liscence to do what ever we please.  Acording to Psalm 51:16-17 it is not about what we give to the Lord but our heart in giving...


"For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it;
You are not pleased with burnt offering.The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."

So, lets not give the Lord a defiled sacrifice!  That is lets not give him the parts of our hearts that are not needed else-ware.  Lets not give Him the lame, sick and blind, but lets give Him our best.  Our hearts, pure and holy as an undefiled sacrifice!

In closing, Galatians 5:13:
"For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

Lets use our freedom in Christ for His glory and offer our hearts as a pleasing sacrifice!
 

In your dreams

It is so easy to get into the mindset that "I need to be a better christian."  I am not talking about true Christianity... being a follower of Christ, but the senseless religion it often can become.  The lists of things we need to do or not to do.  The mindset i need to love people more, not get angry at people, not murder and give 10% to the church.  These things are all good to do but i am convinced that there is no way that i can do anything good, so why try right?  Left to myself, i am a rotten sinful being.  I would not and could have not chosen to Love Christ.  I hated Him.  It was a wonderful work of his hand that i was saved... not by anything i did.  I wanted to opposite of salvation, but God knowing my needs not my wants saved me! 

And this leads me to everyday life.  How do you day in and day out live like your saved? 

John 21:15-17

 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you ^[f]love Me more than these?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I ^[g]love You.” He *said to him, “Tend My lambs.” ¹⁶ He *said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you ^[h]love Me?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I ^[i]love You.” He *said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” ¹⁷ He *said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you ^[j]love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you ^[k]love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I ^[l]love You.” Jesus *said to him, “Tend My sheep.

By loving Jesus!  then we can "feed the sheep."  We can only go not sin, and love people if we first love Christ.  

I was humbled last night about trusting in my own abilities.  I went to be upset.  I had failed, and was throwing myself a pity party that i didn't want to leave.  I went to bed  in this mood, in a state i have been in so many times.  I dont want to be like this, angry and sad, but there is nothing i can do to get out of it.  There is nothing within me that can change these bad thought into good thoughts.  

Romans 7:14-20

¹⁴ For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold ^[m]into bondage to sin. ¹⁵ For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. ¹⁶ But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. ¹⁷ So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. ¹⁸ For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. ¹⁹ For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. ²⁰ But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

I know how you feel Paul!!!  But the story does not end there... because if i am truly a child of God, he would not let me turn my back to Him forever!  

So while i was sleeping i had a dream.  An odd dream.  I was in South America in a orphanage singing songs with the kids when soldiers ran in with guns a blazing.  They shot all the kids balls and instruments, then left.  Then this dream repeated.  But the second time when the soldiers were in there we started to share the love of Christ with them.  They stayed a while and i was talking to some of them about the difference between Gods wrath and His love.  this is where it ended.  I woke up excited that i was able to share Christ with the iminganry soldiers, not upset like when i went to sleep!!

This showed me something.  That we can not "do better."  We cannot live good enough on our own.  All of our good is truly just because Jesus is working through us.  So when im upset or angry or sad there is noting i can do to fix that.  NOTHING!!!  yes, nothing.  All i can do is humbly fall to Jesus feet and admit "i cant do it, Help me Lord!"  

James 1:17-18


¹⁷ Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or ^[r]shifting shadow. ¹⁸ In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be ^[s]a kind of first fruits ^[t]among His creatures.

A More Excellent way

This topic, and 1 corinthians 13 has been on my heart a lot lately.  This passage is often used for weddings, and rightly so (love is important in a marital relationship), but that is not the context of this passage and not how we should see it.  

Chapter 7 is the teaching on marriage followed by 8,9 and 10 about Christian liberty and examples (paul good, isral bad).  Then chaper 11 continues this theme of our liberty into how that should play out in church.  The woman is subjected to the man, and everything is under God. Then the second half has the lords supper.  This is not the traditional lords supper though.  It is written the same as in the gospels but after the presentation of the bread and wine, paul writes something different than the others.  Verse 27-29 reads

²⁷ Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. ²⁸ But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. ²⁹ For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly.

Chapter 12 starts with “Now” which separates the pervious topics from what is to come but maintaining that “examine yourself” mentality.  So as I get into the core of chapter 13 look at it in this mannor… Examine yourself!  Look into your life and see where there is no love… and were you are far from Christ, because this is important to do and if you are anything like me, you do not love like Christ.

   Chapter 12 starts with spiritual gifts and then moves to how the body of Christ is to function in unity, each performing his own tasks with his gifts through the holy spirit.  This leads us to 12:31, an important verse

^“31 But earnestly desire the greater gifts.
And I show you a still more excellent way.”

He says to seek and desire the gifts (spiritual gifts), because we should be so devoted to serving out Lord and Savior that we desperately want these gifts.  Vs 31 however stats there is something greater than the gifts.  

So it is no surprise that the next chapter deals with love.  Just think of the importance of love.  It is repeted about 500 time in the bible of which almost a hundred are a command, like the first 2 commandments given in Luke 10; To love the Lord, and to love your neibor.
The first part of Chapter 13 explains how Love is more excellent.  

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body ^[a]to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

This states without love our gifts are nothing.  We can save a million people but without the love of God it profits us nothing.  We can feed all the people of the world and give them shelter, clothes and water but we profit them nothing.  As kyle said a few weeks ago, we are not called to missions for any other reason but to glorify our God!

According to John 4, God is love.  Mathematically God=Love; meaning God cannot do anything other than Love.  Even his anger and wrath is a righteous and loving, if that makes any sense.   God has many many attributes that he is embodied 100% by each of them, so why would john spend a whole chapter explaining that God is Love, and in him is no darkness.  
 
We cannot grasp Gods love for us.  We cannot.  We can see the evidence of his love, and can experience it through many means but will spend eternity eternities trying to understand it.  Acording to romans 5:8

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

And John 15:13 ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

No we have all heard this before.  Yeah, Christ died for us.  We need to ponder this… while we were yet sinners.  God sent his son to die for us while we hated him.  According to the profeit Isaiah 

 the Lord was pleased
To crush Him, ^[l]putting Him to grief; (IS 51:10)

So not only did god love US so much he sent his son to the cross, but he was pleased to do it… for me… a wretched sinner.  

As john newton (wrighter of amazing grace)  told people late in his life when his memory was failing “Although my memory's fading, I remember two things very clearly. I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.”  

This is true, but i think it would be worded better “im a great sinner and Christ is a even greater savior!”

This is where we stand brothers and sisters, in our Fathers love for his son.  If we truly felt this love to our very core then the next part in 1 Cor 13 would be easy. 

 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵ does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, ⁶ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ^7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
⁸ Love never fails

We would show all of these in our daily lives, in our interactions with fellow believers and non-believers alike.  We would love with an unending constant love.  We would rout for fellow believers, instead of being jelous or envious, and our heart would break for the lost in the same way pauls did in romans 9. 

Rom 9:1-3
 I am telling the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience testifies with me in the Holy Spirit, ² that I have great sorrow and unceasing grief in my heart. ³ For I could ^[a]wish that I myself were accursed, separated from Christ for the sake of my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh,

Wow… accursed means “ Doomed to destruction or misery:” or “Separated from the faithful; cast out of the church; excommunicated.” According to websters 1828 dictionary.  So paul is saying he wishes distruction of himself for the sake of the brothern!  How can he say this??

He can say that truthfully from his heart because he did not try to love people.  That’s right, his focus was not on loving people.  His focused on Christ.  He clung to the cross.  He constantly looked unto the cross, and to God for his strength.  This is seen in all his wrightings.  He was so focused on Christ that he had no other option but to love as Christ did.  Now granted paul was not perfect… and he knew that calling himself “the chief of sinners” but his communion with Christ was so deep he truly loved not because him and his power, but because Christ and His power in pauls life.  “We love because he first loved us” (1 john 4:19)

So the secret to loving people more... Spend more time with Christ.  Actually anything problem in the Christian life is solved by closer communion with Christ.  And I pray often that I would love Christ more, because I fail many times a day. 

I will finish with a soverign grace song i think sums this all up well.  “All I have is Christ”

This first verse shows Gods love… First and foremost in our loves
I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way.
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave.
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will.
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still.

Verse 2 shows the importance in the cross.  We must go to the cross daily! That is go to Christ!!   Because that is the only way we can be saved…

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross.
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace.

And in light of that we obediently follow out of Love, with wreckless abandonment saying…

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me.
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose.
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You.

And this should be our joyous song!  

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Looking Back

"Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you-- unless indeed you fail the test?"

-2 Cor 13:5

As Paul says in both the Corinthians, and John in 1st John, self examination is important.  As Christians we must look into out own life to "see how we are doing."  To see the many shortcomings we have, the sin, and where we are not giving our life over to Christ.

I have beat myself up over this.  At times i have meditated on this far to much.  Upon looking at our own lives (the sin, evil, darkness) we should run to Christ and throw our-self at his feet in worship saying "I NEED THEE LORD!" 

Yesterday and today the Lord has shown me this.  He has shown me how not to dwell on my sin, but to run to Him.  He has also shown me that looking into our lives, and into our past does not have to be a frighting experience.  Yes we sin, and sin is horrible, but Jesus has died for our sins!!! Hallelujah!!!!  So today, looking back over the wonderful last 7 months (a random time i know but someday ill explain the importance of 7 months ago) brought a smile to my face.  Yes there was sin... much sin... but there was also Gods sovereign hand working things out!  That brings Joy to me seeing how the Lord has changed me and worked things out for His glory.  This makes the future exciting...

My Prayer

Oh Lord, this sword you have given me, although sharp and beautiful, weighs too much for me to lift.  You also have given me this belt, shield, breastplate, and helmet but my strength fails me.  I don't have the strength to move in them... or even the strength to put them on.  So here i lay, feeble, week and wounded, at a pile of safety  protection, power and might with no strength to fight.  The arrows of the evil one are nearing and the battle draws near.  It is to my left and right for me and aft me, and i have no strength to win you a battle, to use these glorious gifts for you as the mighty men of old.  So lord i pray not for the word, truth faith, or righteousness   These things i already have.  I pray not for deliverance or a great victory.  These things will come in due time.  I simply pray for the strength to put on your armor to defend myself and to pick up this sword that i might join your ranks in fighting the good fight.  This is my prayer, that you would be my strength in the same manor that you have given me this armor.